They usually talk about burnout at work. But this also happens in the family. The psychologist offers non -obvious ways to avoid this.
We were in a unique situation when the average life expectancy has become 20 years more. And the question arises: how do we adapt to this unexpected gift of civilization?
People whose children have already grown up, but demanding grandchildren and aging parents demand attention, called the “generation of sandwich”. We found ourselves between children and parents and feel responsible for those and others.
The problem of “generation of sandwich” is to find the boundaries of their responsibility to parents and children
Our parents did not allow themselves “all these” depression, burnout and laziness. The installation was different: life is short, it would have time to complete the basic understandable tasks. The main thing is not to leave free time.
The younger generation knows about the possibilities that the elders did not dream. They have everything in a different way that we cannot advise them. They live according to the laws of the future now.
Before us, those who are in the middle, is the problem of burnout. Emotional exhaustion takes more strength than physical activity. It is useful to recognize it before depressive syndromes arise when you do not want to see anyone when drowsiness, and at night insomnia, when it seems that the best times behind.
In fact, this additional youth presented to us is subjectively assessed by many as a happy time
This is the time to realize long -standing dreams, although the equalization on parents prevents us from believing it. It is difficult for us to allow ourselves everything that they considered impossible after a certain age.
I propose several exercises that will help to avoid emotional burnout and enjoy the possibilities that have presented.
Draw a house, a castle of your inner world, your soul. All directions of responsibility, desires, dreams, needs let them find their rooms, corners or even halls there. If there are too many or too few of them, is it worth changing. Decorate this house.
Let there be a rest room there. How it looks, how big and bright? Perhaps there are no windows at all, but only the bed. She is located in the center of the house with many doors or somewhere in the corner, small and cozy? Who can go there? What time will you spend there? It must be found.
Draw, do not spare time and colors, you can play this not one day and even discuss this drawing-a little joke, a little seriously-with someone who is interested in the topic.
Write a letter to your body, ask what he really needs, whether he is offended by the mistress. And then write to him the answer to express claims and say thanks. It is a source of many joys and many sorrows. Start and start: “My dear body is dear, the hostess writes to you …”
And laziness to help us. She warns us about fatigue. She may make it clear that it is time to think about the overgrown problems. It’s time not just to relax, it’s time to change the scenario of life, where I will be the main character for myself ..
And nothing terrible will happen if loved ones know the boundaries of responsibility that you yourself accept with pleasure or with the need (you must share it). This is convenient, many conflicts will simply disappear – of course, if everyone gives such an opportunity.
The uncertainty of requirements creates a feeling of guilt
They, if desired, can be manipulated from infinity to zero. By the way, the uncertainty of the boundaries of responsibility is often the male problem. It seems to men that they should be responsible for everything at once, at the same time and always.
The reverse side of this exorbitant requirement is
to wave your hand at everything and let it go by itself. To avoid this, determine the boundaries of the responsibilities that you take upon yourself. And listen to laziness: she will tell you when to take a break.
This is not even an exercise, but what is useful to remind yourself. We definitely need a positive reinforcement of our activity, without it it is very difficult to find strength. When “there is no strength”, coldness to loved ones may occur. After all, love also needs energy. And women admit with fear, for example: “I do not like my child” or mom, dad, who require attention. Feeling guilt from these thoughts also takes away strength.
It is impossible and not necessary to be perfect, it is uncomfortable for loved ones. We all have something to remember about our mistakes. And we will not be able to avoid new mistakes in the future, even if we are cool psychologists. Say yourself from time to time: “I cannot and do not have to be perfect”. And do not brush yourself out of gratitude for your help and good deeds. Accept it and enjoy the fact that your merits have recognized.
Write 10 desires with a column, any that comes to mind. Look at the list and cross out those that do not personally relate to you, highlight those without which you are not you. It is not necessary to rush to fulfill them immediately. But remember them and move in the direction of the desired as soon as such an opportunity arises.
